Dorney Park

When I was in 4^th grade they made everybody play an instrument. I had zero interest in playing in the band but they made us. So naturally I chose the drums, everything else just seemed stupid to me. Unfortunately, almost everybody chose the drums. Therefore, I ended up having to choose from a collection of brass instruments. They gave the big fat kids the baritones, since they could carry them.  I ended up with a trombone. I was pretty good at it, but it was still pretty stupid. We only played about 6 or 7 different notes though, so it was really easy. But, it was a pain in the ass lugging that thing to and from school every other day. I had no intention of playing that trombone the next year, especially since the middle school was father away.

            When 5^th grade began, I found out that band got a free trip to Dorney Park at the end of each year. I had never been to an amusement park before, only seen them on TV. They always made the roller coasters look so magical, and everybody was having so much fun. The thought of being able to Dorney Park was what caused me to play that damn trombone for another year. I hated lugging it down the train tracks in the winter on the way to school. I remember switching arms every 5 minutes because it was pretty heavy, and falling down in the snow with it. I never practiced at home anyways, but if you left it at school they would know you didn’t practice. When playing any instrument for school, your homework is always to practice.

            The music teacher had given us a log for our parents to sign, signifying that we have practiced for the required amount of time. My mom didn’t care if I practiced or not, but if she didn’t sign it I would get in trouble. The music teacher would call you out in class for not having the signature and you would get a zero for a homework grade. And of course if you fail, you don’t go to Dorney Park. I signed my moms name one day and thought I would get away with it, but I had a backup plan just in case. Sure enough, the day came when the teacher said; “Dan, why did you sign your mothers name on the log sheet”?

Me: “Because she was in the shower when I was leaving for school, I asked her and she said for me to.” And this is how it went the whole year. Usually my mom would just sign it for me, but when she worked second shift I wouldn’t get to see her much.

            Finally, in the spring we were having an Easter concert. The band teacher said we had to wear “dress clothes” for the concert. I didn’t have any dress clothes at all, I never had any situations when I needed them either.

            As the day approached I got more and more worried I was going to not be able to play in the concert without dress clothes. Each class the teacher would remind us that we had to wear dress clothes or we would not be able to play. I became convinced that I was going to fail the class and not get to go to Dorney. I didn’t know what to do and it stressed me out for weeks. On the day of the concert I went home and cried. My friend Kong stopped over later on his way to the concert. He had on a tie and was carrying his saxophone. I told him I wasn’t going because I didn’t have any dress clothes. He said “So what you don’t have clothes, you still have to go, she will still let you play maybe.” To this day, I don’t know how he talked me into going wearing the same NY Mets tee-shirt I wore to school; I was so embarrassed and nervous.

            As soon as Kong and I showed up at the concert we saw all the other students wearing their dress clothes. The teacher immediately came over to me with tears in my eyes. “Dan why didn’t you wear dress clothes”?

Me: “Umm, I dunno, I couldn’t find any”. I muttered shaking.

Her: “Well you are lucky I’m a Mets fan”. I think she kind of understood, and smiled at me. I immediately felt like a house was lifted off my shoulders. I played in the concert and it went great. I was so happy it was over and that I would be going to Dorney park at the end of the year!

            The day of the trip to Dorney Park was one I will never forget. I remember that June morning like it was yesterday. We had to be at the school at 4:30am to catch the bus to Allentown, Pennsylvania. It would be about a 3 and ½ hr drive. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I remember running to the school at 4 am in the foggy darkness. I had a $5 bill in my hand so I didn’t lose it. I was going to use it to play a basketball game at the park and hopefully win a ball. As soon as I got to the school I ran right on the bus but it seemed like it took forever for us to finally leave. I ended up having to sit next to a friend’s mother for the whole ride. She was really nice, but I would’ve rather sat with another excited student!

            When we finally got to Dorney Park I was really tired. The sun was blaring down on us and everybody had to stay close together. I quickly learned that most of the roller coasters were made of wood, which really surprised me. I quickly found out that the wooden roller coasters were older and less comfortable.

            My very first roller coaster ride was full of my classmates. The coaster was very bumpy as it accelerated down the first decline and tore around a corner and loop. Next it took us into a tunnel of complete darkness and then it began to slow down rapidly. It rolled to a stop just before exiting the tunnel completely. At first we thought it was just part of the ride, but then the other children started talking.

“What the heck? Is it broken”? Someone muttered.

“We’reeeeee stuckkkkkkk”; somebody else yelled.

Minutes had passed and I began to get concerned. Finally one of the girls said; “Oh my god, the other coaster is coming and its going to crash into us!” She screamed. “I can hear it coming oh my god, we gotta move please!” She began to cry and it immediately struck fear into the rest of us. We all listened in fear, it did indeed sound like we could hear vibrations in the track. Suddenly everybody began to scream and cry in fear. I screamed back; “Why would there be another roller coaster on the same track”? It just didn’t make sense to me. The girl screamed back; “Because they can run way more rides that way”!

            To my right was the end of the tunnel and a ledge that led into darkness. The fear and desperation sunk straight to my heart and I said “Oh fuck this!” I was tightly latched into my seat by a metal bar that came down and pressed into my lap. I quickly sucked in my stomach as far as possible and squeezed my way out of the seat and jumped onto the ledge. All the other kids started screaming at me; “Please help get me out too!”, or else it was, “Hurry, go get us help”!

            I turned and ran into the darkness and was quickly met by a park employee. “Help us the coaster stopped and another one is coming!” I screamed at him.

“What? Did you get off the roller coaster?! Oh my god get back on what are you doing”?!

He hollered back at me in haste.

“There is no way in the world I am getting back on that coaster man. I don’t care how much trouble I get into or whatever you gotta do man. There is no fucking way.”

            We walked over to the coaster and he calmed everybody else down. He promised them that there was no other coaster to worry about. He said that they were having a problem but the coaster would be finishing its run momentarily. A few minutes later the coaster began to move. The park employee walked me through a dark hallway and back out into the park. He was telling me how dangerous it was to get off the coaster but he didn’t understand. The girl made us think another coaster was on the track and was going to crash into us.

            Needless to say, I didn’t ride any more roller coasters that day, I wasn’t allowed to…but I wouldn’t have anyways. I had had enough of roller coasters, after my very first ride. From this day on I get really scared on coasters and I scream like a girl. My buddies always fight over who gets to sit next to me because they think its funny.

            The moral of the story is, I can’t believe I dragged that stupid trombone to and from school for an entire year, only to get almost killed on a roller coaster. They tried to get me to play the trombone the next year but I said “hell no.”