Since I graduated from college in 2005, I have realized that it is one of the biggest scams going. “We are lending money we don't have to kids who can't pay it back to train them for jobs that no longer exist". - Mike Rowe. The cost of an education has risen considerably every single year, and the amount of student debt has more than quadrupled over the past decade alone. However, this essay will only focus on the ridiculousness which is the "parking pass".
When I was in college the cost of a parking pass was only about $50 per car, per semester. Now, I say "only", because this was only 10-15 years ago and now some students are paying in excess of $700/semester. This entire concept alone is absurd, but let me just put it into perspective. Lets say I owned a fitness center, and I charged $40 a month for a membership. This fee allowed the users to come and go 24/7 and use all of the equipment in my fitness center. However, the fitness center is located in a plaza which I also own. So, I then sold parking passes for $20/month to park in my plaza. Then, I hired a private "security" company to just issue tickets to those who are caught violating. (Parking in the plaza without a pass) How ridiculous of a concept is this?
Almost every university that I am aware of employs a "security" company. They make it seem as though they are there to protect students, however their main function is to write citations for those without a pass. Actually, I take that back....
They can write tickets for a number of different offenses, here are the ones I recieved:
1 - Parking without a pass
2 - Parking in the teachers lot with a students pass
3 - Having your parking pass located on the wrong part of your vehicle
4 - Parking in a spot which is not an actual "parking spot". (Some people are forced to park along the shoulder of the lot or in the grass because the university does not provide enough spots)
5 - Parking where you thought was a spot, but when the snow melted later in the day and the lines became visible, it was no longer a spot.
Now, during my very first semester in Community College I had received "tickets" for all of the above mentioned offenses. My account balance for the above mentioned offenses totaled over $200 and the college refused to transfer any academic credits or allow graduation with this balance outstanding. Now, lets examine all of the incidences...
1 - I had parked my car very far away from the school in a university approved parking spot. I went to the registration office to purchase my parking pass. However, when I came back to my car to put it on, I had received a ticket during this small window of time. I took the ticket back to the registration office and explained my situation. She said; "Just bring your car into our lot, I will go outside and see it on your car, and write it off". So, I walked all the way back to my car again, (It was a good 10 minute walk) tried to park it in their lot, but there was no spaces except for a handicapped spot. I wasn't going to risk it, the line in there was too long, and it wouldn't surprise me if I had gotten another ticket. Also, the woman had just sold me the parking pass, why could she have not just written it off? So anyways, I park around back and go back into the office. When it is my turn, I tell her; "Ok, I brought my car up so you can look at the pass on my car". She comes outside and I tell her to follow me around back. "No, you have to pull it up front, I cant go that far away from my office"
"But there are no spots out front. It is right out back, it will only take 20 seconds"
"Sorry, I cant"
Now, at this point I am frustrated beyond measure. There is no place to park it out front. The ticket is only for $20 because it was my first offense. So, in a John Wayne moment of rage, I take the ticket back into the office with the crumbled up money and throw it at her. "Here is the ticket and the money. Have a nice fucking day"! I felt like I had been vindicated, like I had gotten my moneys worth and took out my frustration. But on my way out of the office she hollers back; "You have to pay that in student accounts"!
2 - Being unable to find a spot, I figured what the hell, I wouldn't even go to class then. I will just park in the teachers lot for 5 minutes and go hand in my paper. This 5 minutes turned into 15 and of course a ticket was on my dashboard upon returning.
3 - One day I returned to my car and was astonished to find a ticket, I had followed all of their stupid rules. The ticket said "Inappropriate decal". Now, at the time I had a large decal on the passenger side of my car which read: "POWERED BY DEEZ NUTZ". So, naturally, I thought it was referring to this. I quickly went and retrieved a security "officer" and questioned him. He said; "Yea, you have to put your "decal" on the driver side of your car, you can have one on the passenger side." Now, thinking he was referring to the "Deez Nutz" decal I explained to him; "It doesn't simply come off". He said; "Yes it does, it has to be on the other side". I had some choice words for him and then went on with my day.
4 - This one is the biggie. The university simply did not have enough parking spots to facilitate all of its students. I believe this is the reason they even employed a "security" staff. They knew damn well that they had way more students than they had parking spots, they had to of. I say this because, they certainly know how many students they have, and they know how many spots they have available. And, for every single spot to be filled up at 8:15 in the morning, I am guessing that the numbers aren't even close. So, some students would manufacture parking spots. They would either park in the grass or on the shoulder of the lot. These cars would ALWAYS have tickets on them, every single one of them. Now, picture this: The school is now writing tickets and charging students because the school does not have enough parking spots to facilitate the students that they have already charged to park. Please, let that sink in for a moment. The university has the audacity to penalize people (when they had no right to charge for parking in the first place) who have paid to park, and yet there are not enough spots. All I can say to this one is: "S... M. M.....F...... D... B...."!
5 - I began to arrive at school at 745am for an 8am class. I made sure to get there early so I would have a parking spot, and a relatively close one at that. Although I hated their parking policies, I figured this would finally alleviate the issue. It had snowed the night before and so the ground was completely covered. It was impossible to see any parking lines, so I just parked beside the other cars. It was a long day, I had several classes and a bunch of work to do, so I was there for most of the day. As the day went on, the sun had apparently risen and the snow had melted. When I arrived back to my car, it had a ticket on it for not parking within the lines and taking up 2 spaces.
----For all of these "offenses" I had tried to get them dropped to no avail. I will never forget the day the lady in student accounts sternly scolded me; "Listen Bud, this place is a business before it is a school"! I hated that college and everything it stood for.
During the next school year I had arrived again without a new parking pass. As I ran to the registration department all I could think about was getting a ticket for not having a new pass. After I got my pass, I ran all the way back to my car, and while on my way I noticed one of the security cars in the vicinity of my car. My blood began to boil. I had a large, plastic water bottle in my hand that was about half way full. It was at that moment I decided that if I had a fucking ticket on my car I was going to launch it at their car.
The closer and closer I got to my car my anger only increased. Then, to my despair, I noticed the bright orange citation fluttering in the wind beneath my windshield wiper. I was completely enraged and full of disgust. The anger had reached its breaking point and I had completely snapped. I cocked back that bottle of spring water and was just about to chuck it at the security car when I paused for a moment. What was I thinking? I had that parking pass right in my pocket, I suppose he technically had the right to give me the ticket for "No parking pass", right? So, I did the only thing I could possibly do in this moment of unweathering rage. I unlocked the door to my car, opened the door, and gently applied the adhesive side of the parking permit to the appropriate location on the rear, driver side window. Then, I locked the door, and began walking towards the security car, (I didn't want to miss) where I seen the "officer" writing a ticket. Then, I unleashed ALL of the anger I had for ALL of the times they had fucked with me. I reached back and I chucked that bottle of spring water as hard as I possibly could at the front of the security car. It hit the hood and exploded as it collided with the windshield and when flying. I seen the security guard with his pen and pad jump, startled as I screamed; "What the fuck"?!?!?!?!?!?!??
..........yes, finally, this was MY moment
This frail, scrawny little security officer suddenly became all turkey-chested. "What the hell man" he said. I responded with all my anger; "You fucking idiots give me tickets every goddamn day and I'm sick of it"! He comes over and examines the ticket, sees the permit in my window and has an astonished look on his face. He begins to apologize but I don't allow it, this was MY moment after all the bullshit they have put me through, I was going to take it out on him. "Every goddamn day you pieces of shit man" I tell him at the top of my lungs. Finally he says; "Listen, I might be a security guard but I have the authority to arrest you". I could hear the shakiness in his voice. In my anger I respond; "Oh yea, you put one hand on my and I'm fucking breaking it off"! He gets on his little walkee talkee as I tear up the ticket and get into my car and drive away. And I have to admit, I felt really, really good about it.
However, looking back I realize who is really to blame. It wasn't that poor officers fault, all he had done was selected a shitty job. Who would want to write tickets and ruin peoples days for a living? And it wasn't my fault, (Eh, maybe a little bit) I was just trying to further my education. The blame lie in the greed of the university. In fact, if you look deep enough...pretty much EVERY single problem in this world can be attributed to greed somewhere along the line. I challenge you to just think about it for a minute.
(Sorry, I didn't proof read this post, the concept disgust me too much)
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