While we were first entering her house, my eyes met hers for a spilt second, it was really awkward. She also seemed really nervous. Needless to say, it was not the joyous reception that my heart had envisioned.
Anyways, we introduced ourselves and luckily, she had a friend with her also. I think it would have been way more awkward if it were just me, her, and Dom.
Anyways, we all went into her bedroom and she closed the door. It made me feel a little more relaxed that I didn't have to meet the whole family. Her dad poked his head in and said; "Hello" once or twice, but that was about it.
For the next few hours we just bullshitted like teenagers do. However, I could tell that something was off. The whole situation was obviously extremely awkward, finally meeting somebody whom you have been talking to so often for 3 years.
Also, her appearance was even more angelic than it was in her photos. The way her dark eye brows shadowed her caramel colored eyes, it was so intimidating.
Looking into her eyes was like looking into the eyes of Medusa. It made me feel stone-like and inferior, so I was trying to avoid eye contact. I felt like a bashful kindergartner and those eyes just shrank me into a shell. I felt like she was disappointed by my appearance and it crushed me inside. I tried my hardest to play it off, but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
The next few hours are a bit of a blur. I remember that the tension had eventually cooled off a bit and we had some funny conversations. At one point, we watched "Dirty Dancing" all the way through. But for being a person with such a stellar memory and in such a critical position, I recall little else about our visit.
I was so relieved when we left. My mind was spinning a million miles an hour. I couldn't wait to get home and talk to the real Blueberry again. I wanted to find out what she really thought of me, even though I feared the worst.
The drive home would prove to be even crazier than the rest of the day. The highway on 81S was covered in snow and it just kept getting worse and worse. It got to the point where I couldn't see anything more than 5 feet in front of me. I was only 17, so I was a very inexperienced driver anyways, especially in such conditions.
Perhaps it was a culmination of the day which had me flustered, but the weather had me very tense. There were wrecked vehicles every few miles. It also didn't help that my car was ill equipped for this type of weather. As the weather got worse and worse, Dom and I began to really worry. We seen a sign that said "Icy Pavement zone", and we both let out a sarcastic; "great". Moments later, I lost complete control of the car.
I was already very tense and gripping the steering wheel very tightly. So as soon as I began to slide, I did the worst thing I could possibly do, I slammed on the brakes. We immediately did a 180 and were sliding backwards in a straight line at 40 mph. It seemed like we were sliding forever. The whole time we were just holding on and awaiting an impact. But it never came. I have no idea how we didn't slide off the road, it almost defied the laws of physics. We just continued to slide perfectly backwards for at least 300-400 yards. Then, Just as he were about to come to a complete stop, Dom said; "Holy shit man, I think were good."
However, the moment before we finally came to a complete stop, we slid off the road and into a ditch.
I opened the door and the falling snow covered me quickly. It was before the time of cell phones, so we had no idea what to do. As we stepped out of the car, we saw flashing lights about 200 yards ahead. So, without any other options, we got out of the car and ran towards them. I was very worried for Dom because he breaks out into hives when his skin gets really cold. I suggested that he wait in the car, but he wasn't having any of that.
When we got to the flashing lights we were relieved to find that it was a cop who was just sitting there with his lights on. He was using his flashers as assistance for a toe truck that was pulling a semi out of a ditch. We got into the cops car and out of the elements. It felt amazing to be back in the warmth, but we knew that we were still in a bad situation. We explained our predicament to the officer and he asked for my ID. He quickly noticed that I was under 18 and it was past 9pm. He issued me a ticket for driving past 9pm with only a junior license. I told him that we would have been home long ago if it weren't for the weather, but he didn't care. He also told us that we would have to have our parents come pick us up since I was driving illegally, therefore we were his responsibility.
Suddenly, a car slid off the road and into the driver side of the police car we were in. Then, the car that had hit us took off. The cop immediately ordered us out of his car. The cop tried to pursue the hit and run car but his vehicle was immobilized. Apparently, cop cars have some sort of built in mechanism that prevents their cars from moving following a wreck.
The toe truck driver and the cop were frantically trying to pull the back bumper of the cop car free so he could pursue the driver. The snow was continuing to fall and it was difficult to see. They were having trouble and asked or our help. The 4 of us kept pulling the bumper and sliding, it was no use.
The cop ordered us back into the car and called for back-up. He was on his radio explaining the hit-and-run. He was giving a description of the car that had hit us, our location, and the direction in which they were traveling.
Anyways, we sat in the backseat for another 20 minutes or so until back-up arrived. The back-up was apparently 'superior officers', and they immediately ordered us into their car. These cops were way more chill than the other guy was. Then asked us a series of questions about how the first officer responded to the incident.
Next, we explained them our predicament and they called us a tow truck. He also tore up the ticket that the previous cop had issued and told me he would have it dropped. Finally, they brought us back to my car with the toe truck driver and allowed us to drive home.
On any other day of my life this would have been a traumatic experience, but all I was thinking about during the whole ordeal was Blueberry.
The next day I called Blueberry and told her all about our crazy adventure on the way home. But it was easy to tell that something was wrong. I don't know if she thought I was ugly, weird, or what it was for sure. However, from that day forward, our relationship changed drastically. We began to chat less and less.
Before I knew it she was dating somebody, and then somebody else. I was also dating somebody, and then somebody else, so we eventually began to grow apart. Our calls became less and less frequent. And when we did chat, it was brief and just never the same. I never called the party line again.
A short time later, AOL became very popular and we would chat on there sometimes. But things were never the same. We always had a boyfriend/girlfriend and we just grew further and further apart. I would be lying if I said that it didn't break my heart. As I got older, I realized that close friends fade away often. Its strange how it happens to people. However, I could never shake the feelings I had for her. She is the only friend I have ever had that ever really understood me.
Sometimes I would miss her and send her an email on AOL, reminiscing about our conversations. Usually I would get a short, generic response back, or sometimes none at all. I realized that I had fallen on her list of priorities, and I accepted it. I moved on, and for the next 6 years, we probably chatted 3-4 times total. I wish that I could tell you that was the end of the story, I really do!
But the heart wants what the heart wants.
I graduated from college in 2005 and moved to Buffalo with a friend of mine. By this time, Blueberry and I were simply old friends. We would text back and forth every now and then to see how the other was doing, but that was it. I understood where our relationship stood and I had to just accept it and move on. And so I did.
By this time I had really matured and became an adult. I became career oriented and was really beginning to understand what I wanted out of life. I would set goals for myself and make sure to achieve them, no matter what. I had assumed this; "I can do all things" type of identity. My professional like was striving also. I was working as a Financial Advisor for Key Bank. All of the people who I worked with were terrific. They were all very polite, funny, and just a pure joy to be around. I have worked for a ton of employers, and every one of them had a number of pure assholes. I have no idea how Key Bank went about their recruitment process, but they really had their act together. I loved going into work and I was making a ton of money. If I could go back in time, I would never have left that job in a years, but that is another story entirely. Anyways, it is still the only brief time in my life that I can say that I was ever truly content with myself. I really felt like it was time for me to find a nice girl to settle down with. This was not going to be difficult to find. Buffalo was filled with beautiful, intelligent women. And for some reason, it seemed like they were flocking to me left and right. I had dated (And I don't mean had sex with) a bunch of beautiful women who had everything going for them, and it seemed like they would instantly fall for me. However, I would eventually lose interest and stop returning their calls/texts. I could never figure out why until I got much older and more mature, but I will get to that.
Anyways, this one Friday evening in February of 2006, I was in Fredonia for the night partying with some old college friends. Fredonia is about an hour drive from where I lived in Buffalo. I hadn't seen my friends since I graduated, so I decided to drive out for the night. I met them at our familiar pub and we embraced a bit and ordered some drinks.
Suddenly, I got an unexpected text from Blueberry; "Hey, I'm in Buffalo for my birthday weekend. What are you doing"?
This text made my stomach drop. We hadn't chatted at all for quite a while, so it reallly caught me off guard. It felt like I was having a moment of reckoning, my mind began to race at an alarming rate. I could easily have just ignored the text and continued to hang out with my friends. After all, we were having a great time. Or, I could have simply texted her back something like; "Sorry, I'm out of town. Maybe next time"? It would have been a completely reasonable thing to do. However, I have never really been all that reasonable.
I immediately stood up and said; "I gotta go guys". They looked dumbfounded by the remark, and rightly so. I went over to the bar and bought my friends a few more pictures of beer and set them at our table. "Why do you gotta go", one of them asked. I simply responded; "I gotta go see about a girl". (Thanks Robin Williams) I opened my phone back up and typed; "Where are you at? I'm on my way"! And with that, I was out of that pub and jogging towards my car.
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